Hi, this is Angela and her first post here! I used to use “wretch” system while I think now is a time to change.
(The old one, written in Mandarin )
Definitely I embrace many memories in my last blog and of my high school life; new life will never obliterate the old, cherished one. The reason I forsake the old one is that, again I practiced my worst habit. God give each of us two hands, one for old, and one for new. (I’m a atheist, so I’ll argue with may “God” theory in later posts.) To me, I can only give one hand to the exterior, because I use one to hold my sense, the interior. I can’t get warmth from the present, solid, vivid relationships and pass it to feed the past, faraway, but worth-remembered ones. Like a donut waiting to be bought, or like a cloth ready to be worn (by persons), I am a traitor; If my lifetime runs like a river heading for the sea, it must be a strong source at first and pompously branch itself to a fatal limit, where there are solely acquaintances and some disappointed old fellows.
A funnel or a sieve metaphors every departure (of human activities): one is left is left, one passed passes; it’s how human memories, or instincts work. I never make bold hypotheses, which well reflect my timidity. I promised no more than 3 friends that I would never forgive them, or that I am confident that our relationship would be the same next time we meet.
Days ago I had a long talk with one of my best friends (or I assumed), and I told her that we would never be good again. I’m a bystander of her life, so is she. We are like two parallel universes, or we are in two parallel universes. I was speechless of formal farewell, therefore I shot on lame topics; hope she didn’t think of me as a freak, or maybe subconsciously I hoped so.
Oh I just realized that I went to far on my first post. Sorry, I don’t mean to be gloomy or pessimistic.
Let’s quit this post.