First

Hi, this is Angela and her first post here! I used to use “wretch” system while I think now is a time to change.
(The old one, written in Mandarin )

Definitely I embrace many memories in my last blog and of my high school life; new life will never obliterate the old, cherished one. The reason I forsake the old one is that, again I practiced my worst habit. God give each of us two hands, one for old, and one for new. (I’m a atheist, so I’ll argue with may “God” theory in later posts.) To me, I can only give one hand to the exterior, because I use one to hold my sense, the interior. I can’t get warmth from the present, solid, vivid relationships and pass it to feed the past, faraway, but worth-remembered ones. Like a donut waiting to be bought, or like a cloth ready to be worn (by persons), I am a traitor; If my lifetime runs like a river heading for the sea, it must be a strong source at first and pompously branch itself to a fatal limit, where there are solely acquaintances and some disappointed old fellows.

A funnel or a sieve metaphors every departure (of human activities): one is left is left, one passed passes; it’s how human memories, or instincts work. I never make bold hypotheses, which well reflect my timidity. I promised no more than 3 friends that I would never forgive them, or that I am confident that our relationship would be the same next time we meet.

Days ago I had a long talk with one of my best friends (or I assumed), and I told her that we would never be good again. I’m a bystander of her life, so is she. We are like two parallel universes, or we are in two parallel universes. I was speechless of formal farewell, therefore I shot on lame topics; hope she didn’t think of me as a freak, or maybe subconsciously I hoped so.

Oh I just realized that I went to far on my first post. Sorry, I don’t mean to be gloomy or pessimistic.

Let’s quit this post.

hi! 這是王映人和她的第一篇網誌噢!以前用的是無名系統不過我想是時候換了。
(舊網誌http://www.wretch.cc/blog/ap41853 )

以前的網誌裡確實有很多我高中生活的回憶;新生活不會磨滅掉舊但是值得珍惜的過往。之所以換新網誌的原因,大概又是我的惡習作祟吧!神給我們兩雙手,一隻握住過去,一隻握住未來。(我是無神論者,所以以後再討論我對於「神」這個字的看法吧!)對我來說,我只能伸出一隻手向外面的世界,因為我必須用另一隻手握住我的理性,內在的。我無法從實體的、歷歷在目的當下得到溫暖,再用這些溫暖保護那些珍貴卻遙遠的回憶。就像等待著被購買的甜甜圈,或是等待著被穿著的衣服,我是個叛徒;如果我的一生像是流向大海的河,那條河必然有著豐沛的水源,勇猛而自負地朝著四處支流直到極限,直到末流只剩下君子之交或失望的老朋友們。

漏斗或是篩子都可以拿來比喻任何離別:該留下的會留下,走了的就走了;這就是人類記憶或直覺運作的法則。我從來不做大膽的假設,某種程度上反映了我的膽小。我向少於3個朋友保證我永遠不會忘記他們,或我有自信在下一次見到他們時我們的關係會和如同以往。

幾天前我和其中一個我(我認為)最好的朋友,然後我告訴她我們再也不會如此的要好了。我是她生命中的旁觀者,反之她也是。我們就像是兩個平行的宇宙,或是我們就存在在兩個平行的宇宙裡。我對於正式的告別感到詞窮,所以我只是聊著無聊的話題;希望她不要覺得我是個怪人,或是我潛意識裡希望如此。

噢,我這才發現我在第一篇網誌就扯得太遠了。抱歉,我無意要如此憂鬱或悲觀的。

這篇就到此結束吧。

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