the breathless

I know it’s been a while.
I know.

It’s like you just held your vomit very hard in the car and somehow you and your body decided not to vomit even after you hit the ground. The vomit is now sitting inside your body and not being anything else but useless vomit.

You are afraid to throw it up because that brings up the terrible nausea.
But the problem is not solved.

One of my goals for the spring break is to finish more cases for VUSE. VUSE provides a platform for people to write down their thoughts and the designers will visualize them with (mostly, I think) drawings/ diagrams.

Since I have been listening to Birdy’s songs (the terrible awesome heartbreaking songs that makes you more gloomy), I decided to look for cases that relate to the lyrics.

It did not take me a long time to find Ms. Vivi’s post about her “love without loving back”, or “carry a torch” (such a cliche). Apparently Ms. Vivi’s significant other did not plan to commit to her at all time while Ms. Vivi has filled her life with everything of him/her.


First thing that came to my mind was the line in Birdy’s “Skinny Love,”

“Cause I’ll be holding all the tickets, and you’ll be holding all the fines.”

I thought about parking tickets, parking space, the abandoned car, the waiting people, the car owners, the meters, the police, ……
The general structure of the diagram came very quickly – the car with a lot of tickets, and the person holding a lot of tickets. The details, however, maintained blurry and shifting.

I was not sure how much tickets should there be. I was not sure whether the car owner should also stand at the side or be discarded. I was not sure who owns the parking space and what is the significance between the parking space to the ticket holder.

Here came the brainstorm page.

Writing and thinking in Chinese was a unique feeling. I kept using the same words and conjunctions because I always wanted to say “but”and “because”.

I thought it was fine the next week when I could laugh from my heart in front of people. The truth was that, it was one of those long ass bus trip with multiple quick bathroom/grocery runs.

When you get on the bus, you get sick again. And it never goes away.



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